aftermath of yes on prop 8

By Lara Kerr

November 6, 2008

"Ah, the lessons we learn about ourselves when we are in pain. Hundreds of thousands of "no on 8-ers" are puzzled and hurting, struck by what they perceive as a resounding slap. In utter sincerity, they ask, "Where is the harm in it?" They cannot see the pitfalls, and because they can't, they shrink in revulsion and swallow the proffered lie that a "yes on 8" vote means a "no" vote for gays as people. Their painful question resounds: "Where's the harm?"

Yet less than 48 hours since Proposition 8 passed in California , the answers to that plaintive question begin to emerge. A people who've longed to be seen as harmless and peaceable came forth en masse and disturbed the peace of those who also voted from their hearts, just as passionately, and with just the same desire to promote right. With the first angrily-scrawled picket sign, ugly seeds were strewn; and they're quickly taking root.

Heedless of the needs of innocent drivers and their schedules and worries, people swarmed into the street, effectively proclaiming, "My needs trump yours". That was a small selfishness, but it was a beginning. It grew. Police resources were siphoned away from averting existing dangers, and who can catalog the pain that ensued when cries for help went unanswered, or when help was delayed?

Some protestors marched on the short access road to private property: a holy place for millions, some of whom chose to vote no on 8. The crowd spat. They profaned. They shouted and raged, but no matter, because the people they bullied disagree with them. And so it became acceptable to mock and malign.

They came back the next day, emboldened and angry, although there had been no retaliation, no rebuttal in kind. (In fact, the opposing campaign was markedly void of contention, derision, or hate.) Shrieking and hurling obscenities, even making a mockery of things sacred to others, they flung their vitriol at peaceable people who spoke no ugliness but who simply stood up for their beliefs and voted their consciences.

Watching the news, we could quickly see the harm; and nothing in their behavior demonstrated anything else but the intent to force into our lives their "rights', even if those rights infringe on children's rights to innocence, parents' rights to teach the things they embrace as sacred, or workers' rights to refuse to perform actions and speak words that are in violation of their beliefs. It speaks volumes when someone, even in rage and pain, is capable of viciousness, of force. In the moment that they turned their anger into active, undulating hatred, their true colors emerged. If within hours of an election people use brute force and intimidation to further their agenda, then what else will they do? What else will they demand? Who else will they terrorize into compliance? The forecast is tragedy.

If people are so quick to denigrate, deride, and blame an entire ethnicity that was but a tiny part of a vote, then what hypocrisy! The insistence on silencing those of opposing views borders on fascism. I stand stunned, because this mob mentality is in stark contrast to the gentleness I thought I'd felt from the gay community. So, to those who sincerely ask, "Where's the harm?" I answer sadly, 'It's in the headlines'."


I agree with Lara Kerr. But I also have to add my feelings towards the gay community. I am not gay. But I am trying to understand and be empathetic towards those who voted no on proposition 8. I know that many are feeling pain and anger because of the outcome. I know that they voted no on prop 8 with the same conviction and passion as those who voted yes. And I want to respect their vote and their pain. But I am torn, because although I respect their pain and even their anger, I don't respect the consequenting actions against my religion and against my personal right to vote.

I have been called a bigot more than once by those voting no on 8. And yet, my response is, "Who is the bigot?"--I think that gays should have the right to be gay. They should have the same standard rights of a married heterosexual couple. They should have the right to vote and express their feelings. But when that same gay community for which I respect, tries to force their beliefs down my throat and make it impossible for me to vote and believe the way I want to believe, my respect for those angry people goes out the window. They have the right to protest, even to begin to work on a way to overthrow the election's outcome. But they do not have the right to suffocate our belief system. Again, who is being the bigot? The person peaceably voting as they believe and, after winning, celebrating silently without rubbing in a victory that makes us want to dance in the streets? Or is it the person forcing their beliefs down another's throat instead of agreeing to disagree and even further, disrespecting the majority vote by targeting specific minority groups who voted yes and daring to belittle their sacred beliefs? I may not agree with the gay community. I may not agree with their lifestyle. But I would not attempt to make them feel insignificant; to make them feel less like a human being; to belittle their right as a citizen of the United States to believe and vote as they choose to. If it seems that that was my intention by voting yes, you are wrong. I voted as I thought fit, as my beliefs and heart felt was the right decision--just as the gay community voted as their beliefs and hearts felt was the right decision. We will always disagree and we will always feel like either way, one of our sides is losing an inalienable right. Therefore, we need to respect the votes--as each individual, (no entities) voted as they saw fit.

In addition, I just have to add that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints did not fund any amount of money OR vote in the election. It is an entity. It does not have the right to vote in an election. It was members--only SOME of the 750,000 Mormon members in California--who voted yes on 8--members who have the individual right and responsibility to vote as their heart pleases, just as the 35,000,000 other California residents (Catholic, Black, Hispanic, gay, Republican and Democratic alike) who have the same equal right to vote as their heart leads them to vote.